murder over coffee
by Cookies and Ink
Summary: Lavender and Pansy had always been in love, so when Pansy is forced into an arranged marriage, Lavender knows what she has to do. The world owed them and now they were prepared to bring it to it's knees, one death, one robbery at a time. [Bonny and Clyde!AU]


**A/N:** Warning for mentions of dark themes. Mainly murder and criminal activity.

Word Count: 771

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 **murder over coffee**

Lavender couldn't stop grinning as they both gazed at the crumpled corpse at their feet.

"Well done," Pansy said, shock on her face. "I didn't think you would actually pull it off."

"I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now," Lavender yawned. "It's all well and good he's dead, it's excellent actually but I had to wake up so early to finish brewing the potion, I'm exhausted."

She kissed Pansy on the cheek lightly and then started to walk towards the kitchen.

"Excuse me! It's my house, what do you think you're doing?" Pansy asked incredulously. Lavender merely raised an eyebrow, her skeptical look sharpened by the scars across her face.

"Your husband's dead Pans. It was his house, now it's the Ministry's which means, as a taxpayer, technically it's also mine."

"That is not how that works, although I admire your imagination," Pansy began before frowning. "Wait a second, you don't pay taxes! You're a criminal, as well as a murderer, you can't act like you're an upstanding member of society."

"Oh like you're any better," Lavender mocked, her voice echoing as she walked away. Pansy cast a scornful look towards her now deceased husband and then followed her lover, leaving the body where it lay.

"Besides," Lavender continued when they were both sat at the kitchen table with coffee cups in front of them. "You know I'd do anything for you. I've always loved you, since we met at the Greengrass wedding when we were seven."

"I know," Pansy said with a slight sigh. "When I look back at Hogwarts, it was all awful but having to keep up pretences was just…" she shivered and Lavender put her hand on top of Pansy's. They had kept it so well hidden, no one had been able to understand why Pansy had screamed when Lavender was brought into the hospital wing, barely alive. Then, when Mr. Parkinson had realised they were in love, he had married Pansy off to a rich, Russian wizard 39 years older within two days.

Lavender had spent all of her recovery in St. Mungo's planning on how to get her lover back. Poison had seemed an easy choice. All it had taken were a few letters snuck to Pansy, several drops of a liquid that had been a warm orange into the man's morning orange juice and now, they were free to be together.

Well, it had also taken money which had led to Lavender spending a lot of time in Knockturn Alley. Her hearing was second to none, now she had some of the werewolf strain in her so at first she'd simply bought and sold information. Lav had always loved to she had started to use that information and by the time she'd gotten a portkey to Moscow, had five robberies under her belt.

Pansy sometimes thought she'd been a bad influence on the once squeaky clean Gryffindor, but even she'd known as a child that Lavender had a streak of wild recklessness, always looking for some sort of thrill. The wolf had simply heightened what was already there. Lavender had always been there for her, slipping her notes through school and they had shared a kiss during the Yule Ball. In Seventh Year Pansy had tried her hardest to protect the woman she loved, even as Lavender so desperately fought against those who sought to control her.

"Anyone who says he's been eaten by a wolf is a liar."

"Sorry?" Pansy said in some confusion and Lavender drained her coffee and then gestured to the muggle typewriter which was displayed in a glass case. The Russian had fancied himself a collector and liked to take items off the muggles he'd hunted in his youth. Even Pansy found that deplorable.

"I was thinking I could type up some business cards, leave at the scene after we do something dastardly there."

"It's clear we deserve each other, I don't think I know anyone else who's as dramatic as I." Pansy gave her a fond look and they kissed slowly, Lavender biting on Pans lip.

"You're free now. We can do anything now, no one can stop us."

Pansy found herself laughing as Lavender gave a toothy grin. They had already planned where they would go first - Monaco seemed quite lacking in it's security and all the politicians that liked to gamble there would be better off without their Galleons, the pair were sure. For all of their life they had been survivors, rolling with the punches.

Now they were the ones with their fists raised. The world wasn't going to know what hit it.

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 **A/N:** All prompts and challenges below:

The 365 Prompts Challenge: Quote - "Learn to value yourself, which means fight for your happiness." Ayn Rand

The Fanfiction Resolutions: Pick a dark theme and write something fluff with it.

The Insane House Challenge: 68. Pairing - Lavender/Pansy

Serpent Day: 52. Eastern diamondback rattlesnake- (AU) Bonnie and Clyde

Femslash February: Lavender/Pansy

Library Lovers: Little Women - Louisa May Alcott ((word) Imagination, (dialogue) "I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now." (object) Typewriter)

Character Appreciation: (trait) reliable

Disney Challenge: Aladdin - Write about a survivor.

Book Club: Julie Lawry - (character) Pansy Parkinson, (word) poison, (word) information

Showtime: Dancing Through Life - (dialogue) "It's clear we deserve each other."

Lyric Alley: The weight's off my shoulders

Liza's Loves: Royal Duchess - Write an arranged marriage!AU

Jenny's Jovial Quotations: "Anyone who says he's been eaten by a wolf is a liar." - J.B. Theberge


End file.
